Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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