when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize