we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
