He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
