There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
