I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
