I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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