Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
