Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
