I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
