I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Help. Why am I so naked?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
