I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
