So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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