The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
