I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
