If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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