So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Michael Bay diarrhea
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
