Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
