if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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