i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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