Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
