and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
