Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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