Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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