I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The power of my boobs compel you
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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