Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize