It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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