That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
