Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
