3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
