just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The uberlube is also flammable
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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