I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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