Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
