I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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