he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Acid is not a monday night drug
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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