The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I have feelings that need drinking.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
