A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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