put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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