Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
