She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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