it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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