So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Fuck appropriateness.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize