I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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