She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
