omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
