Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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