Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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