you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
