Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
