Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
