Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
