great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
