Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
