i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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