____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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