considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
