hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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