I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
