WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
